Case File HC026

Con Air

G-Man calls the bar to let us know they’ve got a prisoner transport plane down over the lake. Seems that the cons ain’t your average criminal so we get on site to stop them before people get hurt. Wheelman, Cameraman, Soldierman, Salaryman and Hellgirl respond.

Down at the lake seems the cops got there first. Salaryman jumps out to have a chat but spots that the officer ain’t in a good way and the cars’ve been trashed. Worse still a massive swarm of ants pours out from under the car and chases him. We lose the ants in the car and come back shortly with a bunch of jury-rigged flamers; the ants are gone though and we’re able to scout out the scene.

Looks like one of the cops has been hauled away by a con towards the industrial park whilst the other perp has skedadelled off into the city. We phone it in to G-Man and he tells us we’re dealing with a soldier gone bugnuts crazy and some sort of mountain man. Also the pilot was found dead in his own home so it looks like we’ve got some sort of shifter too as an accomplice.

We follow the cop’s tracks since we don’t want him ending up dead and find a warehouse in the industrial park. Cameraman’s kit let’s us work out what room he’s in so we put together a quick plan to storm the place. Wheelman rolls by blasting his stereo to attract attention whilst Cameraman, Hellgirl and Soldierman sneak in and up to the room. We kick the door down and rush in but then things go a bit FUBAR: ex-military chick is a bit of a kung fu wiz and starts kicking our weapons all over the shop, and then there’s a friendly fire incident which leaves Cameraman sizzling on the floor. Hellgirl keeps at it though and eventually brings the psycho down. At this point Salaryman comes in to give some much needed medical care whilst Wheelman checks the place over.

We notice a little too late that some asshole has jacked Wheelman’s ride. He don’t take it lying down though and gives chase on a borrowed motorcycle. Whilst the rest of us wait for an FBI ride home, Wheelman tails the GTA punk around the lake and finally shoots out a tire to take them off the road. Things get wierd though when a girl climbs out of where a guy should be and starts magicing; Wheelman opens up but its like he’s shooting himself. Now in a pretty bad way he’s got to let her take off on the bike.

Next morning after some rest and bandages we start looking for the other prisoner. Guy called himself ‘The Emperor’ and was some sort of mountain murderer. We talk to a witness who tells us about some weird totem he had to snag off the guy to stop the ant attacks. Call to the Feds tells us that someone stole that back a few days before the plane went down. We reckon the nut might come back for the kid so we stake the place out. Sure enough it ain’t too long before we spot a strange amount of ant activity in the area. Cameraman and Soldierman head for the source whilst the rest try to protect the boy. We do the best we can with fire and ducttape but eventually have to ditch the joint; Salaryman and Hellgirl bail out of the second floor riding a mattress down (sweet, huh?!) and Wheelman bundles them into the car and takes off.

The source turns out to be a local park. We spot a strange mound in a copse of trees and get to digging. Sure enough there’s a creepy old guy buried there clutching onto his mojo toy. Cameraman and Soldierman work to prize it off the bastard, trying to deal with the hojillion ants he’s got biting them. Around the time the others arrive we’ve got the thing and dived into a pond for comfort. Salaryman decides to end the ant problem permanently with a can full of petrol.

G-Man ain’t too happy to hear we torched the guy but they’ve got other problems. Seems that someone held up the prisoner-transport van. We get on seen ASAP and find cops with snapped necks and shot by their own gun. Hellgirl IDs the wound-bouncing shifter as some sort of demonhost. Fortunately the van is lojacked so we get on their ass and ram the mofos into a ditch.

Ain’t too clear on what happened after that. More friendly fire and the demon bouncer left us in a pretty bad way. Suffice to say that when the fire from the engine spread to the rest of the van their weren’t no-one standing who felt the urge to pull the bad guys out of there.
G-Man ain’t pleased that we didn’t give him any prisoners back, but we put some dangerous sorts out of commission permanently, and at the end of the day the City’s got to be a safer place now, right?


Wurzel josephwilliams

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